Man you’d better hope the bird flu doesn’t make it’s way to America ’cause I’ll tell ya’ somthing.  As a society we are NOT equipped to handle it.

I’m working at the department of health these days, and even though there are signs on the bathroom walls tutoring you on proper hand-washing technique I’m still blown away by the sheer obsessiveness of some people’s routine.  I just now (Okay five minutes ago), was in the restroom, and the dude in there ran out a good tail of paper towels from the dispenser THEN washed his hands, left the water running, dried his hands, and then used the paper towel to turn the water off.  Oh, and then he used the automatic door opener to leave the room.

I could understand this if you’re a "bubble boy" but come on, people?  Do you really expect your immune system to protect you if you let it sit on the couch watching Oprah all day (Or whatever the closest equivalent metaphor is for an immune system).  And I bet you this is the same kind of person that uses a significant portion of their PTO each year for sick days.  Yes I wash my hands, and no I don’t avoid touching all surfaces for the rest of the day.  I hardly ever get sick, and when I do, it’s a big, strong virus, not the wimpy kind you find on the door handles.  If something knocks ME down, it’s the sort of thing that takes out half the city and ends up on the news.  (Yes, I’m aware of just how badly I’ve jinxed myself)

The whole family’s been sick for weeks.  My daughter hasn’t fully recovered in the last month and a half.  You know how long I had a cough?  TWO DAYS!  I wish I had the George Carlin quote to post here, but it’s on the "You’re all diseased" album, and it rocks.  I’m living by George’s example, and even if the bird flu is the next black plague and it wipes out all of humanity, I’ll outlive these executive wussy-boys long enough to loot their mansions and take their beemers out for a joy ride before I croak.