Movie theaters are rude (Originally published 9/10/07)

I get mad about this every time I go to see a movie lately.  I’ve just paid approximately half of what I’ll eventually spend to own the freaking movie when it comes out on DVD (assuming I like the movie that is).  If I’m on a date, then I’ve probably blown the entire cost of the DVD, and this is before I’ve even considered buying popcorn at a price that kids’ fundraisers would be ashamed of.  I’ve now forked over a good chunk of money, and made my way to the theater where my movie is showing.  Now I get to be force fed advertising while I wait for the movie to start.  I’m not talking about the previews, which are a whole different half-hour I’ll never get back.  No, I’m talking about product advertising.

But that’s not what I’m mad about.  No, that’s all stuff I’ve been beaten into accepting over the course of my life.  I’m talking about just before the movie starts, when the AMC people decide to treat me like a child with the phrase.  "Please don’t spoil the movie by adding your own soundtrack".  Why don’t you just say "Don’t be a tool" and insult me the rest of the way?  At least Cinemark’s now-defunct "Front Row Joe" was mildly entertaining while reminding people not to yell out "Oh no, don’t go in there!" during the film.  Then there was that great clip with the two Indians hunting buffalo when a ringing cell-phone scares off the herd.  That one was awesome.  They need more of those.

This AMC audience insult reel has to go, though.  I’ve just given you enough money that I think I deserve to be treated like an adult.  Maybe I’ll just go to a theater that doesn’t insult me each time I give them money.  This is one of my many reasons for supporting the few remaining local theaters we have.  Places like Studio 35 need our support, and appreciate it enough to not treat us like lemmings who’ll just take the kind of abuse the megaplexes feel compelled to heap on us.

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